It was late at night. It was her first night in Australia. She glanced at her family members sleeping. Unused to the jetlag, she crawls out of bed and stepped on the cool tile. The first blast of cold wind chilled her, so she shivered convulsively. She draws a blanket around her and slip out of the sliding doors to the living room.
Unlike Malaysia, where it is windy at night, here it is chilly. She stumbled to the kitchen, found the packet of instant tea. Carrying the lovely warm mug, she found a position in the couch and plugged in her MP3's, the song that was playing was Wonderwall by Oasis.
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now
And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how
Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall
Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now
And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after an
You're my wonderwall
Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
She did not know why. She cried. She just cried, letting the tears fall down her cheeks. After all, did she not show what a coward she was? After all, did she not build that wall around herself after being dissapointed? But she knew it rang true. She now had a wonderwall, and she was never gonna let it go.
With that decision in her mind, she went back to sleep.
The End. LOL.
Trust
They say one day your trust is gone and it is hard to win back.
I had laughed at it, scorned at it really. Until it happened to me.
Now my trust is gone. It's like a poison eating under my skin. I don't need to explain. I don't owe anybody any explanation. But I don't trust you anymore. There is that.
Psychology is interesting really. On one side you have those who worship their shrinks and enjoy having someone to actually listen to their problem. And on the other side, you have the conservatives that know that psychologists or shrinks just tell you something you know anyway. Heck, why pay the money?
But chances are, hearing others telling you what you already know usually leaves a bigger impact. That's just how it works.
It's like I know I don't trust you anymore. But I just need someone else to tell me that so that I can accept it as truth and move on.
You take me for granted. You never, ever think of my feelings, my efforts, my face or my thoughts. You just barrel ahead. I don't even know why I did not listen to that gut instinct of mine nagging at me lately. There is no more words to each other other than the trust is gone.... and as of now, I refuse to let the bitterness and anger cloud my judgement anymore. Only goodbye.
I wish you well. I wish you happiness. But above all, I hope you find what you are looking for.
Disclaimer: This isn't talking about the hedgehog...so please don't suddenly shoot him glares okay?
Edit:
Don't bother asking me who I am talking about, because you won't get the answer. ;)
I had laughed at it, scorned at it really. Until it happened to me.
Now my trust is gone. It's like a poison eating under my skin. I don't need to explain. I don't owe anybody any explanation. But I don't trust you anymore. There is that.
Psychology is interesting really. On one side you have those who worship their shrinks and enjoy having someone to actually listen to their problem. And on the other side, you have the conservatives that know that psychologists or shrinks just tell you something you know anyway. Heck, why pay the money?
But chances are, hearing others telling you what you already know usually leaves a bigger impact. That's just how it works.
It's like I know I don't trust you anymore. But I just need someone else to tell me that so that I can accept it as truth and move on.
You take me for granted. You never, ever think of my feelings, my efforts, my face or my thoughts. You just barrel ahead. I don't even know why I did not listen to that gut instinct of mine nagging at me lately. There is no more words to each other other than the trust is gone.... and as of now, I refuse to let the bitterness and anger cloud my judgement anymore. Only goodbye.
I wish you well. I wish you happiness. But above all, I hope you find what you are looking for.
Disclaimer: This isn't talking about the hedgehog...so please don't suddenly shoot him glares okay?
Edit:
Don't bother asking me who I am talking about, because you won't get the answer. ;)
RIP Michael Jackson
(RIP Michael Jackson 1958-2009)I know this is a late entry, but I want to at least spare one entry in my blog for MJ. I know the topic of MJ was blogged to death, but I think it’s hard not to. Here is a man, who rose through things to become one of the greatest performers in the world. Media scandals and abuses aside, here is a man who brought us the magic of music, who sought to change the world and the way we know it.
Personally, I get very angry when I hear of people speak ill of him after he’s gone, especially on those lame jokes, like oh, there goes a freak etc. He is gone…and that’s it. His trial was never fair; it was a media circus all over. We will never know what he did and did not do. The truth died the moment he stopped breathing, because we do not know who gives us the right to judge? Or make jokes at his expense?
I did not watch his entire memorial (duh, working!) but last night, on the radio, they played Paris Katherine Jackson’s emotional tribute to her father which is what everybody has been talking about lately. Immediately after they played “You’re Not Alone”, which actually make me so sad. Then at that moment, it sank in. He’s gone.
He won’t be making music for us anymore. He will no longer be making a big comeback. He won’t be coming to Malaysia to perform. There will be no more chance for him to stand up for himself or reveal the truth of all the allegations against him. We, the world, are really alone because the King of Pop…the King of Music, really…has left us behind in such a sudden, we are bereft even though the last dust has fallen to the ground.
My favourite memory of MJ was how my brother and I would play Grand Theft Auto and while we are busy running amok in our cars and motorcycles in Vice City, the radio stations in the vehicle would always play Billie Jean. Or of me watching the miniseries and crying when little Michael was whipped onscreen by his father, because I was so young and the pain on his face was too much for my young heart.
What’s your MJ memory?
PS. Oh, he's a Virgo.
Jodi Picault and Big Bang
I think she is one of the awesomest writers around.
I really do. I can reread Tenth Circle again and again, and be dazzled by her story. She is truly a wonderful writer. The amount of details and life she channels into her stories are truly amazing. I cried reading the Sister's Keeper. I felt deep compassion and chills reading Nineteen Minutes and Change of Heart. I had deep confusion reading Tenth Circle, and yet I relished the entire read...slowly unraveling the plot like a warm cinnamon roll with crunchy sugar on top.
Taking the trains did not seem so bad in the morning with Jodi Picault to pass the time.
That...and Big Bang playing in the my MP3.
Who is Big Bang? It's a famous Korean boyband that is currently making waves in South Korea. Before you dismiss them for sappy songs, take a listen to this song Haru Haru. They mix ballad and rap effortlessly, making the song such a lovely listen...I kept repeating the songs over and over again!
I really do. I can reread Tenth Circle again and again, and be dazzled by her story. She is truly a wonderful writer. The amount of details and life she channels into her stories are truly amazing. I cried reading the Sister's Keeper. I felt deep compassion and chills reading Nineteen Minutes and Change of Heart. I had deep confusion reading Tenth Circle, and yet I relished the entire read...slowly unraveling the plot like a warm cinnamon roll with crunchy sugar on top.
Taking the trains did not seem so bad in the morning with Jodi Picault to pass the time.
That...and Big Bang playing in the my MP3.
Who is Big Bang? It's a famous Korean boyband that is currently making waves in South Korea. Before you dismiss them for sappy songs, take a listen to this song Haru Haru. They mix ballad and rap effortlessly, making the song such a lovely listen...I kept repeating the songs over and over again!
(That's ToP from Big Bang. So hot. I never like a rapper before....and he is the first I actually liked. Like his evil smile from the video below)
Spinning Around
I am so so so tired and exhausted. I don’t know why my brain is non-functionable today. Must be the hectic weekdays that is very crazy nowadays. I need to take a break and figure things out.
Maybe I belong to an old school of thought, but I am wondering about blogging, about it being a profession. I wonder is it true that blogging is the new media now? Granted, newspapers are not what it seems anymore…but blogging seems to be the new wave. Advertising channels like Nuffnang and Advertlets is making a new wave for marketing techniques. I admit that it is a fantastic business model, and it taps on the trend that is so viral nowadays that now you cannot attend an event without bloggers snapping away with their amazing cameras,
There is a thought that I have, see? It’s like a brand. If it becomes mass, then what is so special about it? Like a bag that has no brand or a Hermes bag, there is vast difference in price and status and all that. So if everybody wants to be a blogger and it is now mass, can it be sustainable in long-term? What sets one blogger above from another?
How do you succeed as a blogger as a profession when it’s a tight tight competition out there?
I’m might blog but this blog is for me to have personal thoughts and a record, but no more than that. I am just curious because I read so many blogs (see my sidebar) and all of them are so different and there is more pages growing everyday. I just got to thinking, it’s a great trend, but if the blogosphere becomes saturated, then where do you go from there?
Okay, I think I am just making my headache worst by asking questions like this. >.<
Maybe I belong to an old school of thought, but I am wondering about blogging, about it being a profession. I wonder is it true that blogging is the new media now? Granted, newspapers are not what it seems anymore…but blogging seems to be the new wave. Advertising channels like Nuffnang and Advertlets is making a new wave for marketing techniques. I admit that it is a fantastic business model, and it taps on the trend that is so viral nowadays that now you cannot attend an event without bloggers snapping away with their amazing cameras,
There is a thought that I have, see? It’s like a brand. If it becomes mass, then what is so special about it? Like a bag that has no brand or a Hermes bag, there is vast difference in price and status and all that. So if everybody wants to be a blogger and it is now mass, can it be sustainable in long-term? What sets one blogger above from another?
How do you succeed as a blogger as a profession when it’s a tight tight competition out there?
I’m might blog but this blog is for me to have personal thoughts and a record, but no more than that. I am just curious because I read so many blogs (see my sidebar) and all of them are so different and there is more pages growing everyday. I just got to thinking, it’s a great trend, but if the blogosphere becomes saturated, then where do you go from there?
Okay, I think I am just making my headache worst by asking questions like this. >.<
New layout
Thought I'd take a leaf out of Max's book and change my layout.
Kinda fun to play with html again.
Lovely day today....further details later. Hehe.
Toodles!
Kinda fun to play with html again.
Lovely day today....further details later. Hehe.
Toodles!
What are memories for?
Everyday we immerse ourselves in our lives, leaving behind fragments of our old selves behind.
The today you is different than the yesterday you. Slowly by slowly, every minute, every second, we gain new experience that moves us forward and in that sense, we move further than who we were.
It's as if every step you take, you leave a copy of yourself in the fabric of time, trapped within the threads, in pursuit for a complete, or beautiful tapestry that is your life.
But sometimes, it's good to just let the threads unravel...disintegrate, because when that happens, you can always untangle the knots and tangles...to come back and do it all over again
The today you is different than the yesterday you. Slowly by slowly, every minute, every second, we gain new experience that moves us forward and in that sense, we move further than who we were.
It's as if every step you take, you leave a copy of yourself in the fabric of time, trapped within the threads, in pursuit for a complete, or beautiful tapestry that is your life.
But sometimes, it's good to just let the threads unravel...disintegrate, because when that happens, you can always untangle the knots and tangles...to come back and do it all over again
